PRICELESS

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.

Vents we re checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked!!!

People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10 th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home……..

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the the curtain rods

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING,

DON’T YOU?

Mama…Grandma…Auntie and all around tease!

I’m a Masturbating Mommy and a Butt-Slammin Granny! I loved dick when I was young and I still love young dick! I can’t wait for you panty boys and mommy’s little cocksuckers to start calling.

My webpage is under construction but you can see more pics of me here…

I’m the new “old” gal on the block anbut let me tell ya I’ve been around the block a few times. So don’t be shy about telling mama all those secret fantasies. I know most of dreamed about your mommy’s when you were little wankers and she still gets you hard as a big wanker. I know a lot of you had mommy’s who worked hard to make you the fine little frilly, fannied sissy you are!

So cum to my house for XMas…where we don’t stick a package under the tree…we unwrap your package and put it in my BUSH!!! We don’t have chestnuts roasting..we have Chet’s nuts roasting…and rich reindeer aren’t the only one’s blowing a few “BUCKS”! Ju7st remember, when we yell Santa’s Cumming…it probably means the guy porking your face is about to blow a gushers.!!!

So have some Holiday fun with Harley and take the ride of a lifetime!!!! So call me at…

or email me at

Are you on the Mommies Naughty or Nice List ? We’ve been peeking in on you all year and we are scandalized at how bad some of you have become! No self control! You just snatch a pair of panties and rub furiously. You’re on the naughty list! There will be spankings and the parade of shame before the whole family for you!

Then there are our good boys. Keeping their pecker well wrapped for Mommy. No peeking and certainly no poking! For the Xmas Season there will be Mommy’s special eggnog, bright bows for hard wee wees and lots of balls dangling! You good boys will get Holiday stroking privelages and maybe even a nuzzle of Mommy’s mistle-toes or a taste of Christmas Cream. Some lucky little cocksuckers may even get something long, hard and black! But we wouldn’t want to give away the surprise.

As a special Christmas Bonus for the month of DECEMBER , in the spirit of giving , we will be giving blow jobs, ass-jammers and facefuls of pussy juices for 5 extra minutes at no cost to you with every 20 minute call. That’s right boys..pay for 20 and play for 25.

Of course “A Clockwork Orange” depicts a classic totally vulnerable, emasculated husband forced to observe the violation of his wife.  This feeds the cuckold in so many of you. Especially those with that wicked little side that would love to see his proper little wife be totally sexualized…

Likewise I’ve had guys fantasize about their wife/mother being sat upon that pinball machine in “The Accused”.  Some want her unwilling but some want her to enjoy having a cheering section as she takes on every guy in the bar…while you watch of course.  A nightmare fantasy or a pure sexual heaven..who knows…

The “Catwoman” role always seems to get the guys in heat.  Even if Mama or wifey doesn’t have any superpowers, except her ability to force you to suck cock, the leather does have a certain effect on you subbies…  Of course there always a few hot pussies strutting their stuff at Halloween.  There’s even a few “Tom’s” dressed up like a pretty little pussy in heat……

Maybe this Halloween you’re thinking about slipping into Mommys clothes…maybe not going as far Norman Bates in “Psycho” but the whole raiding Mommy’s closet has its appeal…  This mommy’s closet is full of lots of lingerie to fit her faggity assed sissy boys!

My favorite costume for all you cuckolds that don’t wear panties is a spider….because I’m a Black Widow and we all know what a black widow does with her mate…don’t we…

Of course the movies have given us such great roles of seduction.  What if Mama became a Vampiress who were to come into your room at njight and suck more then your blood…  Or your wife is really a witch who has taken complete control over your mind and body and now forces you suck dick and hump cock…   Perhaps your gf is really a demonic succubus determined to suck your body dry and fuck you into a vegetative state…

So call and share which movie role you would put your Mama, your wife/gf or Me in.  Maybe we can write our own nasty little Halloween skin flick …

A picture speaks a thousand words and this one says it all…

So to say thank you to our boys in the service of their country we are offering a special deal. If you are on active duty we will give your 5 free(dom) minutes with your cal1. (10 min. minimum applies. So you get 15 minutes for only $20 or 25 minutes for $40. This is a ten dollar savings on any call over $20. (rates are slightly higher for overseas calls due to higher toll free rates.)

You must use a credit card that has your APO address or use another method to show us you are an active member of the military and we will very happily make your fantasies come true.

And for those of you with those sissy, cocksucking fantasies oour policy is “Do Tell…We won’t!” So if you want to slip out of those cami-jammies and slip into a teddy or baby dolls we will be more then happy to dress you up and take you out on the town.

All of our mommies do a freat job of fulfilling your sexual fantasies and for those who want to be put through a courts martial or military tribunal Mommy Kelly has the background to to march you in and dress you down in front of the JAG.

So the next time your dick is “standing at attention”call one of our very patriotic mommy’s for a 21 cum salute! Even if you’re just a long way from home and need some company remember we always have some of mom’s “hot apple pie” for you to enjoy a taste of home!!!!

So cum on and get a slice of the pie…

Mother taught us all how to suck cock and she even helped stretch our asses so we could fit big uncle Ernes12 inch dick deep inside! There were no taboos in our family. It was a sexual free for all…all day everyday.

Some family traditions are worth carrying on and trust me we do carry on. There’s something so hot about sharing the nasty stories of growing up and helping you make your incest fantasies cum true that I’m developing a callous on my fingering finger.

So if family fucking makes you sweat call Kinky Carol for the rauchiest phonesex fantasies anywhere.

That’s right! I believe in spanking…hard and often. You want something squeezing tight around that nasty little dick, try my powerful thighs on for size. You will feel like it’s being ripped off as I grip it and nip it. All that bucking up and down to escape the sting of my hand…oh I think it will be sooo sore and tender you won’t be able to think about it for a month without it aching let alone sneak into my room for a private wank session with my stockings.

So stop being such a wussy little pecker pumper and turn around to face Mommy Kelly. It’s okay to let her see you cum…as long as you’re ready for the consequences…After all, a little spanking never hurt anyone…much…

Cum on…you know you’ve always wanted to let Mommy catch you…now is your chance…

Mommy Kelly
http://www.mommyphonesexfantasies.com/5.php
1-866-255-5951
Rates
$2 a minutes/10 minute min.
All major credit/debit cards accepted.

There is something about watching a guy wrap his fingers around his dick and start pounding away. I love the way the head plumps up and gets darker as he squeezes tighter. The greatest part is watching the precum ooze from the tip and the fingers slip over it to smear it across the head and down the shaft.

And how about the slammin’ those balls take as his hand pistons up and down. I love to see them bulge and quiver as they are rammed with his hand over and over. Just watching a guy jack off makes me want to slip my fingers inside my panties and find my clit.

My favorite is when I’m least expecting it. I actually caught a guy jacking off in the bushes in the park one day. He started to pull up his pants and I was sayin, “No don’t stop!” He was sooo excited. He dropped his pants and started to jack off like crazy. It only took him about 10 strokes before he was cumming right at my feet! I went home and played with myself unless I was sore!

I love it when my callers share their stories of whacking off or when they let me guide them in their masturbation. Slow sweet strokes, cupping and squeezing…telling you exactly how to manipulate that monster…mmmmm. I particularly like mutual masturbation sessions where you can rub that dick and I can jiggle my clit between my plump lips.

So if you like jackin with an audience call Sweet Emma at:

they’re so much better when they’re fresh, aren’t they? Just the moist feeling of them when you peel then from a wet, slick pussy… The way the musky scent just seems to burst into your face as you expose those glistening pink lips. Even the tingly taste as you bunch that creamed crotch onto your tongue. MMM… is for Moist Mommy Muff!

I know you’ve thought of nuzzling between Mommy’s thighs since you learned to wrap your fingers around that hard, little pecker. You keep fantasizing what it would be like if she walked in and caught you jacking off with or wearing her panties! What would she do?

Well I can think of a few things that might happen…

…she might drag you into her closet and finish dressing you up like a sissy little girlie girl… …she might put you over her knee with your pecker between her thighs and spank your little tushy… …she might exploit your obvious perversions and turn you into a boy toy to serve her and her friends… …she might have you dress like a tramp and take you out to learn to suck dick! …she could teach you everything you need to know about pumping pussy and licking ass.

There are lots of things a Mommy can do when she catches you with your pants down and her panties out. I’d love to hear what you’d like to happen… …just remember…Panties are always better when they’re fresh…

He had offered to mow the lawn. I knew it was
just so he could watch me sun bathe. My sons
friends are always offering to do chores for
me. So while he began to push the lawn mower
I stretched out on my lawn chair on my tummy.
As I reached back and unhooked my bikini top…
he killed my petunias. As I lifted myself up
a little to pull the top from underneath me
and drape it across the edge of the chair…
the begonia’s became mulch. I didn’t mind…
I enjoyed driving this 18 year old boy crazy.
Just to be a complete tease, I tugged the band
of my bikini panties tight, wedging the already
almost non existent strip of material up tight
between my firm cheeks. That was when I heard
the thud of a 100 year old oak being hammered
by a 2 yr old mower driven by a 18 yr old
walking hard on. I wasn’t surprised when I
found the lotion I was rubbing over my butt
cheeks seemed to be mixed with rose petals!!!!
You don’t want to know what got zapped when I
rolled over!!! Or do you…???

I am fully bilingual and can get you off in 2 languages.

Si Hablo Espanol!

Call Mother Teresa at:

1-86-MILKY-TIT

1-866-455-9848

http://mommyphonesexfantasies.com/3.php